Barstool Sports

Monday, August 29, 2005

Uncle Buck on the move

Chowdaheads will be taking a break for about a week as your old Uncle Buck makes a move from one home to another...UB is almost all packed and ready to go, just have to throw away all my lead paint cans and change my subscriptions to TV Guide, People and Club International.

I gave him the wrong finger!!

Mr. Millar has always been in the lineup...

Now to remove my framed Robert Parish Sports Illustrated and we're outta here...

Come back soon Uncle Buck, come back soon...

Bellhorn to the Yankoffs

Fox Sports is reporting that former Red Sox 2nd baseman Mark Bellhorn will be joining the Yankoffs tomorrow. While Mark's play caused Sox fans to cringe this season UB remembers the good times, like the 3 run shot in game 6 of the ALCS vs the Yankoffs that ended up winning the game, and the solo homer against the Cardinals in game 1 of the World Series that was the deciding factor. While an appearance in pinstripes may get Bellhorn a few boos at Fenway, UB hopes the fans remember the good times from 2004 and hope he joins Embree on the list of Sox who cost games for the Yankoffs...

New Wife Smell

During a Red Sox broadcast recently, actor John O'Hurley who played J Peterman on 'Seinfeld' met with Jerry Remy and Don O' and talked about how he had just got married and his wife still had that "new wife smell". Well Jerry and Don spent at least a full inning laughing, prompting the two to bring the line up during every game since. Not only that but fans have gotten in the act holding up signs about their spouse having the "new wife smell". The whole silly affair prompted UB to do some research and find out of O'Hurley (who says he is a long time Sox fan) wife is worth such a catch phrase and a shirt on Remy's website (above).

''Wry and rugged and clean as a dry martini''

Pats cuts; Boomber bid bust

The Patriots made their first round of cuts Monday, announcing the release of QB Rohan Davey (above), RB Cedric Cobbs and S Dexter Reid. Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick said he was letting the three go to give them a jump start to catch on with another team. Cobbs and Reid saw limited playing time during their time with the Pats, while Davey's most memorable contributions were made during a charity softball game in Southborough, Massachusetts (below, with head turned).

Meanwhile, the Red Sox learned David Wells will have to serve his 6 game suspension for arguing with an umpire. He will begin serving the suspension immediately, which means his next scheduled start will be pushed back from Friday to Sunday against the Orioles. The Red Sox have not named a replacement starter for Friday night.

Runaway Train

Not that long-ago in an apparent alternate universe the Red Sox held a 5.5 game lead over the Yankoffs, now with only days before the final month of the season the lead is down to 1.5...

While the Sox did take 2 of 3 from the Tigers over the weekend, the collapse of a 6-0 lead on Saturday caused your old Uncle Buck to finish the rest of the booze in the house, which worked out since UB is in the middle of a move...

Friday, August 26, 2005

Pats to cut the cheese in Green Bay

The Patriots head into Lambeau Field in Green Bay to take on the Packers Friday night in their 3rd pre-season game. So far the Pats are 1-1. While the Coach Bill Belichick has told all the players to prepare to play 60 minutes, they are also hoping to avoid any more injuries. The team has already announced that Mike Vrabel will sit out. Vrabel limped off the field during the pre-season opener against Cincinnati.

Packers quarterback Brett Favre will lead the yellow and green against Tom Brady and company. While Farve's solo Super Bowl ring came at the expense of the Patriots, Brady has lead the Patriots to 3 titles since, while Farve has experienced increasing declines in big game performances.

Wedding Crashers, dumb asshers

The Wedding Crashers movie site will allow you to paste your face over the star's faces. Here's what happened when two Chowdaheads decided to give it a try...enjoy...

...I think we only use 10% of our hearts.

Mr. T to 'Pitty the Fool' in Rocky 6 is reporting that Mr. T will return as Clubber Lang in Rocky VI. Instead of squaring off in the ring, however, T will be providing color commentary, presumably at a Rocky boxing match.

''Dead meat!''

Beavis & Butt-Head: The Comeback

NEW YORK, Aug. 24 /PRNewswire/ -- MTV: Music Television announced today that the boys are back and looking to score. After over seven years off the air and being sorely missed by the MTV audience, Beavis & Butt-Head are set to present the Viewer's Choice Award at the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards on August 28th. In addition, it was also announced that MTV and Paramount Home Video Entertainment will be releasing "Beavis and Butt-Head: The Mike Judge Collection, Volume 1." The DVD box set is scheduled for release on November 8th.

Schilling pitches like schit

Former Sox ace Curt Schilling returned to the rotation Thursday to make his first start since April and gave up six runs and 9 hits in 5 innings. Not that he had much help, as David Ortiz sat out with a bruised wrist and Francoma played Kevin Millar in left. Now as Rem-Dawg pointed out in the pre-game, Royals pitcher Jose Lima's biggest problem this season has been giving up home naturally Tito sits Trot Nixon in favor of Millar...who has 5 home runs on the season...aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Mr. Millar has always been in the lineup...

We dropped 2 of 3 to the Royals!!!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Gino Cappelletti for the HOF

The NFL and the its Hall of Fame voters should be ashamed of the way they have kept ''Mr. Patriot'' Gino Cappelletti out of the Hall of Fame. Cappelletti came out of the University of Minnesota and played for the AFL Boston Patriots from 1960 through 1970. He is the Patriots' all-time leading scorer with 1,130 points (42 TDs, 176 FGs and 342 PATs), he led the American Football League in scoring five times and had two of the top five scoring seasons in pro football history – 155 points in 1964 and 147 points in 1961 (14-game seasons). He is the all-time leading scorer in the American Football League and is among the AFL's all-time top ten receivers, in yards and in receptions. The Patriots' third all-time leading receiver with 292 catches for 4,589 yards, he holds Patriots' records for extra points attempted (353), extra points made (342), FGs attempted (333) and FGs made (176). He also returned punts and kickoffs, played defensive back, and even had one pass completion, for a touchdown.

I could almost understand if they just had a thing against kickers (which they do) but Gino Cappelletti is one of the leagues all time receivers as well. The fact is the NFL still has a problem recognizing the AFL and if you compare Gino's numbers to players in the hall now, the absence becomes even more glaring...

Hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd.

Watching the Red Sox can make you go mad. Take last night's game for example. The Sox, the highest-scoring team in the majors, loaded the bases in the fifth, sixth and seventh but failed to get a run. Then they are able to get out of Royals bases-loaded jams in the sixth and ninth, only to lose, 4-3, on a shallow fly to Manny in the 11th. On top of that Millar rides the bench on Tuesday, and apparently for the foreseeable future, and what happens on Wednesday? He's back at first and he gets his first home run (of course solo) in about 15 months. The loss means Schilling's return to the rotation Thursday is a must win.

Meanwhile in New York, the Blue Jays pounded the Moose for 9 runs in the fifth for a 9-5 win..."Sorry, uh, huh, heh, huh, eh, huh"

Whose managing this team?

Mr. Millar has always been in the lineup...

No runs and men left on make UB want to throw his @&$#$& remote at the TV!

Great party, isn't it?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Fenway: A National Landmark

BOSTON (AP) The owners of Fenway Park have applied for federal landmark status, which would make renovation work eligible for a rehabilitation tax credit.
The Red Sox are in the midst of a nearly decade-long program of 200 (m) million dollars in renovations at Fenway, which was built in 1912.
Team officials couldn't put a dollar figure on the rehabilitation tax credit, which is designed to give property owners an incentive to save historic structures.
According to the federal government's list of National Historic Landmarks, the only other Major League stadiums considered for landmark status were Wrigley Field and Comiskey Park, both in Chicago.
The process was never completed for either stadium, and Comiskey since has been torn down. ^

Royal with cheese

Sox starter David Wells gets a Royale with cheese for his donut Tuesday night against the Royals. Wells allowed five hits and no runs in 5 innings. 3 hits by Theo's Renta-wreck and a home run by Jason Varitek were all the offense the Sox needed in the 5-2 win. Trot Nixon came off the DL with a single in the 5th that scored Renteria.

Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it le Big-Mac.

No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the (expletive) a Quarter Pounder is.

Uuummmm, this is a tasty burger...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Ricky Williams forgets something

The Miami Herald is reporting that Dolphins running back Ricky Williams left his playbook in a Pittsburgh hotel room following his team's loss to the Steelers, 17-3 Saturday. Dolphins head coach Nick Saban, who surprised many by taking Williams back, brushed the incident off saying he had bigger problems to worry about than Ricky leaving behind his playbook. Saban said it was like mouse (crap) compared to elephant (crap). Williams left the Dolphins before the 2004 training camp to smoke marijuana and live in India. UB can't understand what would have caused Ricky to leave behind his playbook...

When the Dolphins retrieved the book they noticed a couple pages hand been torn out...

Sox sell grass

The Red Sox are selling chunks of the Fenway grass from the 2004 World Series Championship season. The team pulled up the whole field following the season to make repairs and apparently kept the grass. Each chunk is $150.

Monday, August 22, 2005

5 Movies that ruined my weekend

Your old Uncle Buck had a big weekend planned with lots of projects and events, which were ruined by my television. The following are movies that for one reason or another distracted me from performing my duties. Some happened to be on TV when I walked through the room and hypnotized me into sitting on the arm of the couch and catching the final 30 minutes or so, while one of the films I rented and watched with my brother.

1. Caddyshack:

D'Annunzio: Well I ain't payin' no 50 cents for no Coke!

Noonan: Oh, ho, then you ain't gettin no Coke! knowwhatImtalkinabout?

Lou: What's that sign say?

Angie: No bare feet.

Lou: What's THAT sign say?

Angie: No fighting.

Well don't just stand there, get some glue!

2. Sin City:

These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. They're back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war.

An old man dies. A young girl lives. A fair trade.

Oh, sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole life.

3. Slumber Party Massacre:

I don't know if I can go. My mom's on my case about my grades.

Well life goes on after all and eating makes me feel best when I feel bad and boy do I feel bad. (I actually don't recall any lines from this movie, I basically TiVoed through it.)

4. Summer School:

Can I call my mom and tell her I won't be home... ever?

It was an accident. I'll take it again. I can fail, I know I can!

Chainsaw's sister: How do you spell Cat?

Chainsaw: I don't know!!

5. Dead Calm:

Get off my boat!

Phew, he's finally off our boat...

She's been plucked more times than the Rose of Tralee...Biggest whore on 5th avenue...I'm Told!

Uncle Buck

Moments of Zen!