Barstool Sports

Friday, September 29, 2006

World's greatest anchor comes to Boston


This new guy started recently on WHDH, NBC in Boston, as news anchor and he looked really familiar to your Uncle Buck. Then it hit him...This is the guy from that embarrassingly bad sports show circulating on You Tube:

You gotta cut Matt Lorch a little slack, this was obviously one of his first gigs and the rest of the production was a mess...So far he's been pretty good on Channel 7 and hopefully he keeps it up, because if you see anything like the above video on the number one rated station in Boston, he's gonna be out on his butt...LETS GO TO THE MASSACRE

Hey buuuuuudy: The Screech sex tape

This is either a gag by a guy trying to make it as a comedian or the most undesirable sex tape in the history of the world, either way a preview of the Samuel "Screech" Powers sex tape starring Dustin Diamond and two women is online...If it is true it jumps Screech to the top of the list for post SBTB career decisions...Ahead of Slater becoming a talk show host or dancing with the stars, Zach sinking NYPD Blue, Jessie taking it all of in Showgirls, Kelly doing The Ladies Man and a season of Fastlane and Lisa Turtle doing her shrink:

Now that's more like it

The Office last night was hysterical. Michael and Dwight meeting Jim and Jan in Philadelphia; Angela surprising Dwight in his room, only to be found by Jim who is shocked at thinking Dwight got a hooker; Pam's first first date in 9 years, while Tobey meekly tries to ask her out; Creed trying to score free train tickets and introducing himself to Meredith; and Michael's failed hotel room party. No new clips have hit YouTube yet so for now you can check out these deleted scenes and a couple that made the show on NBC.com.

(Prediction: For some reason the Stamford branch closes, sending Jim and some others to work in Scranton with Michael)

Also fans of the BBC Office and Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant's follow up Extras will be happy to learn while Series 2 is not yet on HBO, you can catch the first 3 episodes here...

Friday fwds: Lost and found















Thursday, September 28, 2006

Best and Worst Sports Trophies

Every sport has a champion, every champion receives a trophy declaring them the best at what they do for that year or season or event. Here is your Uncle Buck's list of the 10 best and the 5 worst trophies in sports:

The Best:

10. Tour de France Maillot Jaune (Yellow Jersey)

The first Tour de France winner was crowned in 1903. In 1919 the over-all time leaders and over-all winner were given the Yellow Jersey and it's been done that way since (Big surprise the biggest prize for a French sport is Yellow). It's the only trophy that is used during the sporting event.
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9. Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Champion Belt

This contest goes back to 1916 as four immigrants tried to settle an argument about who was the most patriotic at Nathan's Famous's first restaurant. The first winner downed 13 hot dogs in 12 minutes. The International Federation of Competitive Eating has over seen the event since 1997 and most recently the event has been dominated by Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi who currently holds the record with 53 3/4 hot dogs eaten.

8. America's Cup

The America's Cup is sailing's #1 regatta. It's called the America's Cup because America held it from the 1st race in 1851 til 1983 when Australia finally won it. 25 challenges over 113 years, the longest streak in sports history.

7. Heavyweight Boxing Champion

There was a time when this would have been the clear #1 in UB's mind, but since there are now 4 large governing bodies with world title belts (Above: Green is World Boxing Council, Red is International Boxing Federation, Black is World Boxing Association and the World Boxing Organization is not shown) and there is no desire to unify the belts, how can it be the best sports trophy. The WBA is the oldest and most recognized, dating back to 1921.

6. Heisman Trophy

The coolest actual trophy on the list, the Heisman Trophy is awarded to college football's player of the year and is so prestigious that it is given it's own live ceremony every year at the Downtown Athletic Club in New York City until 2002 when the club closed it's doors after the financial fall out from 9/11. The best thing about the trophy is if you ask just about anyone what they know about the trophy, all most all of them will try and do the pose.

5. World Series Ring

Every pro baseball player's dream is to finish their career with one or more of these. The championship symbol of America's past time is the coolest trophy of the team sports in which a series decides the winner.

4. Olympic Gold Medal

You have to wait 4 years just to compete for it and when you win it you get to stand taller than the runners up and listen to the national anthem being played.

3. Super Bowl Ring

It's the countries biggest sporting event and Dan Marino, considered by many to be the greatest quarterback of all time, doesn't have one and is though less of because of it. On the downside, as a player your fingers may have been broken so many times that you can't wear the ring when you retire.

2. The Masters Green Jacket

The Masters is one of the four golf majors and is held every year at Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta, Georgia. Since 1949 the winner is awarded a green jacket, which is the official coat worn by members of Augusta National while on the club grounds. The tournament winner becomes an honorary club member and has to return the jacket to the grounds after their 1st year as champion. Also the winner is awarded the jacket by the previous year's winner, which can be fun if that guy just came in 2nd.

"Gold jacket, green jacket...who gives a sh*t"

1. Lord Stanley's Cup

Every player on the winning team gets the cup for a day to do what ever they want with it, no questions asked...Amazingly that tradition only started in 1995...

The Worst:

5. World Cup Soccer's World Cup Trophy

1. It's not a cup.

2. Soccer Sucks.

"Didn't you get that memo?"

4. World Series Trophy

There is nothing fun about this trophy. Look at it. It looks like it could fall apart at any moment. Like the flag polls could just fall out like those little plastic bats or golf clubs on the trophies you got as a kid. And what if you dropped something in the middle there? You'd have to roll up your sleeve so it didn't get caught on a flag and carefully reach down to grab whatever it was you dropped. If that's not bad enough, it's got a lame ass name: The Commissioner's Trophy...

3. Olympic Silver Medal

Jerry Seinfeld: The Olympics is really my favorite sporting event. Although I think I have a problem with that silver medal. 'Cause when you think about it, you win the gold-you feel good...you win the bronze-you think, "Well at least I got something." But when you win that silver it's like "Congratulations, you *almost* won. Of all the losers-you came in first of that group. You're the number one *loser*. No one lost ahead of you!"

2. Final Four net string

So you just won your "Elite Eight" game and you're now one of the Final Four teams in the NCAA Tournament. So what do you do? You cut down the net and get to keep a string. Why? For what? You gonna weave a brand new net out of that string? Wrong. You're gonna go home and hang it on the wall so everyone can see it...And ask, "What's with the string?"

1. NIT Championship Trophy

65-other teams are better than you and are playing in the NCAA Tournament. Congratulations for winning the National Invitational Tournament, aka, 66th Place.

Heads up their asses



Christy Mihos is an Independant running for Governor here in Massachusetts. He doesn' t have a prayer of winning, but he did put out this funny ad...That UB can' t believe he just saw on tv while enjoying his leftover chicken curry lunch...

Thursday Lists

TV’s Sexiest News Anchors

Most smug asses on TV (w/Video)

A little early for Halloween, but: Top 10 Friday the 13th Death scenes

Top 10 Worst Places to take a dump

A la Pete Rose: Athlete apology balls

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Patriots going Chinese

Did we lose a war? Look at this thing...The Patriots, always the opportunists, are already trying to make some cash on the Pats appearance in China next pre-season for the first ever China Bowl against Seattle. How dumb does this thing look? So "12" in Chinese is "+="...Well if the 100-billion Chinese don't buy it, maybe the math nerds will...

Hump Day can be the pits

HAPPY

HUMP

DAY

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Tuesday's Classic Clip: Smithers Stung by a Bee




The sum of all fears

Your Uncle Buck was in attendance for Sunday night's Patriots-Broncos game at Gillette Stadium, and has to say it was the worst he's seen the Pats play in "The Razor" since the place opened. The 17-7 loss highlighted many of the fears the Pats fans had about the 2006-07 edition but is it possible that this wake up call came at exactly the right time?

Coming into this season, looking at the roster, the following opinions could be made regarding the 2006-07 Patriots and here's how those opinions seemed to balloon into fact Sunday:

- The Patriots screwed up by letting Deion Branch and David Givens go, when they could have signed them both: Brady and his new wide outs didn't just look bad against an impressive Denver defense, they looked lost.

- The Patriots secondary is too short and will again struggle with taller receivers: 5'9" Ellis Hobbs, 5'10" Asante Samuel and 5'10" Eugene Wilson made even Jake Plummer look good against wide receivers Javon Walker, 6'3", and Rod Smith, 6'0".

- The one player they could have easily over paid was Adam Vinatieri: Even though AV was on the bench with the Colts on Sunday. Stephen Gostkowski's 2nd blocked kick in the last two tries certainly didn't do anything towards helping the Pats forget about "Mr. Clutch."

Okay so the refs were awful and the Pats defense kept it close until the 4th, but just about everyone would say a win in Cincinnati next week would go a long way in making this bitter taste go away. Who knows what will happen with Denver, with the problems Jake Plummer has with just about every other team, they could be a non factor down the road. Getting a win over the Bengals, who were beaten up in a strange win against Pittsburgh, would be a huge tie breaker come playoff time...And who doesn't think the Pats are gonna take the East and make a run at things with the remaining schedule against the AFC East, the NFC North and the AFC South.

Uncle Buck

Moments of Zen!