Barstool Sports

Monday, January 23, 2006

Crisp addition? Sox on the Coco clock

With the Pats at home and the Bruins and Celtics treading water around .500 the Red Sox are back on the lips of Boston sports fans. The latest is the rumor that Coco Crisp will be the key addition in a 6 player trade soon.

The trade would give the Red Sox Crisp (.300, 16 home runs, 69 RBIs, .345 OBP in 2005), relief pitcher David Riske, and catcher Josh Bard for prized prospect Andy Marte (acquired from Atlanta for Theo's Rent-a-wreck), catcher Kelly Shoppach, and relief pitcher Guillermo Mota. Fox Sports has been reporting all day that the condition of Mota's arm could be the deal breaker.

Obviously the Sox are trying to fill the hole from Johnny Damon's departure (.316, 10 home runs, 75 RBIs, .366 OBP in 2005). The Akron Beacon Journal is reporting that any Sox-Indians deal is contingent on the Cleveland being able to pry outfielder Jason Michaels away from the Phillies, to replace Crisp. When researching the acquisition of Coco Crisp, your Uncle Buck consulted Browns quarterback Jeff Garcia:

"You guys will really enjoy Coco Crissssp. He's a tremendousss player with a tremendousss up ssside."

"Make fun of my lissssp all you want, my girlfriend is hot..."

"...and she can totally beat you up!"

Speaking of attractive women dating athletic stiffs...

The Orioles welcomed their new pitcher Chris Benson and his controversial wife Anna Benson. Anna attended the presser wearing an Orioles jersey, a not so welcome change from her photo spreads:

Anna Benson was quite a spectacle in New York while Chris was pitching for the Mets, saying publicly that she wants to have sex in every Major League ballpark and if her husband ever cheated on her she was going to sleep with the entire Mets team. After hearing of the signing several players have expressed their interest in joining the O's, including former Orioles slugger Albert Belle who says he wants a piece of the action. No word on whether Belle plans on using cork in his return.

"If the Red Sox sign Coco Crisp, they'll have to call him Coco. You can't have two Cocos...maybe then I can get people to start calling me T-Bone!"

"I think you may have something here..."

4 Comments:

At 12:25 AM, Blogger Dr Will said...

where did you hear that david riske thing? no one in the cleveland press is reporting that or Josh Bard. ive been hearing crisp for marte and mota, and then tribe sending rhodes to philly for michaels...

also great seinfeld ref, i never thought about that before...

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger Dr Will said...

nevermind i see it. i hate the trade now even though i like marte. they must think crisp peaked last year...

 
At 4:25 PM, Blogger Uncle Buck said...

Boston writers have said there is anger out your way over Crisp and now word of Riske being part of the deal...UB's gotta hope it's gonna happen...

 
At 7:08 PM, Blogger Dr Will said...

if the deal goes through it saves the indians $4mil this year, so its looking like a cost cutting move for a team that was 3 games away from the postseason last year. that is NOT cool

 

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