Stripes headlines

As you may know, your Uncle Buck is a big fan of the movie "Stripes" starring Bill Murray and UB's favorite John Candy. Recently UB received an email asking if he remembered the end of the movie and the headlines that each of the main characters receives in the closing scene. Of course UB remembered that scene, and while thinking about it UB was able to pull the headlines for all to enjoy...

Bill Murray as John Winger: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like we're going into Wisconsin.

Harold Ramis as Russell Ziskey: I got my ass kicked in Wisconsin once, forget it!

John Candy as Ox: Uh, I hope this is the Mess Hall...How's it going, Eisenhower?

Warren Oates as Sgt. Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

P.J. Soles as Stella Hansen: What are you going to do with that? Oooo!

Sean Young as Louise Cooper: Don't make me have to shoot ya. Climb aboard soldier.

John Larroquette as Capt. Stillman: Took it to get it washed!!!!

Joe Flaherty and Nick Toth as a Border guards: Chi-cago, 'Bang, bang!'

English translation...

Winger: Tito Puente's gonna be dead, and you're gonna say, "Oh, I've been listening to him for years, and I think he's fabulous."