Barstool Sports

Monday, July 10, 2006

More proof that Soccer sucks

If you need any more proof that soccer sucks, just take a look at what went down at the finals of the World Cup over the weekend:

1. Fake Soccer fans:
The World Cup comes around and suddenly everyone cares. Bars get filled, the ratings beat the Masters and Americans cheer for their heritage like they just got off the boat. Give your Uncle Buck a break. This is way worse than the bandwagon jumpers after a team wins the championship. UB is Irish, Scottish, English and German mostly with a lot of other stuff thrown in, but first of all he's an American. So if these "fans" want to pull for a team, how about the country you are living in and call home? UB didn't spend one second cheering for any country that his ancestors came from. Then again he didn't bother cheering for the US team because Soccer sucks.

2. The World Cup MVP is a soccer hooligan

Sirhan Sirhan, AKA French "Legend" Zinedine Zidane, was ejected in the final of the World Cup in what is apparently his final game. Someone on ESPN radio today compared it to Joe Montana being ejected in the Super Bowl because someone called him a name. What a moron. What is even worse is he was given the MVP trophy for his play in the tournament That would be like giving Bill Buckner the MVP for the 1986 World Series or giving Neil McDonald the MVP for Super Bowl XXX. If the best player in the tournament costs his team the title by taking himself out of a game that ends in penalty kicks (see below) then how can he get the MVP? You want to know how? Because soccer sucks that's how.

3. Penalty kicks
After all the games and scoreless minutes of boring soccer play, what better way to end the championship game than on penalty kicks. That would be like ending the Super Bowl by having a field goal kicking contest, like ending the World Series with a home run derby, like ending the NBA Finals with a free throw shooting contest, or like ending the World Series of Poker with a game of War. Even Hockey, which allows regular season games to end with a shootout, doesn't pull this crap come play off time. But soccer does...Because soccer sucks.


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