Barstool Sports

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Great Norm Peterson Quotes

What's up, Norm?

"My nipples. It's freezing out there."

What's shaking, Norm?

"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."

What'll you have, Normie?

"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of the tap."

Looks like beer, Norm.

"Call me Mister Lucky."

What's the story, Mr. Peterson?

"The Bobbsey Twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."

Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.

"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."

Whatcha up to, Norm?

"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

How's life treating you, Norm?

"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."

How's it going, Mr. Peterson?

"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."

What's the story, Norm?

"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?

"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"

For a beer?

"No, for stupid questions."

(Norm comes in with an attractive woman.) Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?

"With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe."

How's life, Mr. Peterson?

"Oh, I'm waiting for the movie."

What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?

"Elope with my wife."

How's life in the fast lane, Normie?

"Beats me, I can't find the on-ramp."

How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?

"Pretty nervous if I was in the room."

"Women. Can't live with 'em.... pass the beer nuts."

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