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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Great Dave Chappelle Quotes...Now that he's back

Comedian Dave Chappelle has returned to stand up according to the Denver Post. Chappelle did some new material Monday, marking his return after the bizarre breakup with Comedy Central and his show "Chappelle Show." Here is some of the material he used at The Comedy Works, followed by some of his other stuff...

New Material:

"I don't know if you've read about me in the papers, but I'm (expletive) insane,"

"Don't ever buck the system because your (expletive) is finished."

Chappelle on walking away from his $50 million dollar deal with Comedy Central: "Don't think you can walk away from $50 million, and your wife will just be cool with it."

On taking a stand: "I was gonna protest the war. I was on my way out the door, until I saw what happened to those Dixie Chicks. If that's what they do to three white women, imagine what they'll do to me!"

Old Stuff:

Don't even tell me how to get to Sesame Street that is a terrible place, I wouldn't go there if I knew the way. They got this character on there named Oscar.. they treat this guy like crap, the entire show. -"Oscar you're SO mean.. isn't he kids?' -'yea Oscar, you're a GROUCH!"
It's like, "BITCH, I LIVE IN A (expletive) TRASH CAN! I'm the poorest (expletive) on Sesame Street! Nobody's helpin' me."

I spoke at my old high school and I told them kids, straight up--if you guys are serious about makin' it out of this ghetto... You gotta focus. You gotta stop blamin' white people for your problems, and you gotta "learn"... how to rap or play basketball or somethin'.

You know what dog food tastes like? Do you? It tastes just like it smells... delicious.

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