Barstool Sports

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Bruins sold, moving to Florida to play for retirement home, a'la Slap Shot

Reporter Dickie Dunn says the Boston Bruins are moving to Florida due to lack of interest in the team after falling to 8-13-5, including several gut wrenching losses in the final seconds of the game. Dunn reports that fans have hand enough of ownership and management after they were given what they had been asking for for years, a salary cap, and still produced a crummy product.

When asked about the article Dunn said, "I tried to capture the spirit of the thing."

Denis Lemieux: Who own de Bruins? McGrath: OWNS, OWNS!

The Hansons: Eddie Shore? Old time hockey?

Time to play, name that line: Here's to all that beautiful _____ in FLA!! (If you said "weather", you loose).

Reg: Well since we're not exactly the Boston Bruins...oh wait...scratch that...

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