Barstool Sports

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The Dice-K effect: The Top 5 Changes At Fenway Park

It looks like the Sox are in line to sign Daisuke Matsuzaka, aka Dice-K, which could bring a few changes to Fenway Park. Here are UB's Top 5:

1. New Ads

2. Dog meat in Fenway Frank hot dogs

3. Ben Affleck dumps Jennifer Garner for Yoko Matsugane

"Armageddon just got released over there...She thinks I'm a big star...hahaha"

4. Dr. Charles Steinberg translates "Tessie" into Japanese and plays between innings 9 times a game

"Mata ah-oo hima de Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto"

5. Japanese celebs throw out the 1st pitch

Just one more thing on this topic...As most of you know Scott Boras (pronounced Bore-ASS) is the agent for Dice-K. Wouldn't it be great if he dressed up in Japanese garb the way Classie Freddy Blassie used to get dressed up in different outfits to represent his wrestlers...
Remember when Blassie used to dress up like a Russian when he was with Nikolai Volkoff or the way he became Ayatollah Blassie while with the Iron Sheik? Imagine Boras coming out for the presser dressed up in a Japanese martial arts outfit, or better yet a sumo wrestler?


At 9:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It'd be greatif D-Mat just cut a bunch of promos in Japanese while Boras would shout "Haha! Yes! Bali Bali! Haha!"


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