Barstool Sports

Friday, December 16, 2005

UB's top 5 Christmas Specials: # 1 How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

That's right "How the Grinch Stole Christmas!" is your Uncle Buck's #1 Christmas special. So now you can get some sleep. While a short plot, the rhythm of "The Grinch" and the original story has become a Christmas classic. The heartwarming moment of the Whos, enjoying Christmas together without gifts lays the foundation for the final line of the special, "Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp." Like Frosty, Santa's Little Helper, Linus helping Charlie Brown and Hermey for Rudolph, the Grinch learns that being with friends and family out weighs any material possessions. Merry Christmas.

The 1966 special, based on the children's book by Massachusetts's own Dr. Suess, begins with horror film legend Boris Karloff doing the narration:

Narrator: All the Whos down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not.

The Grinch hated Christmas - the whole Christmas season. Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

Or maybe his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the best reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

The early narration just sucks UB in. That was the one thing about the 2000 Ron Howard live action Grinch film that worked. Howard got another horror legend Anthony Hopkins to do the narration...

Of course he also got Jim Carrey who was awful...

The thought of another Christmas of those damned Whos and all their "Noise, noise, noise" was too much for this cartoon Scrooge, who decides he "Must stop Christmas from coming!"

Narrator: Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The Grinch had a wonderful, awful idea.

The Grinch decides he's gonna dress up as Santa Claus and take all the gifts after the real Kris Kringle has gone, therefore, ruining the jerky Whos Christmas!

The Grinch has to resort to using his dog Max as the reindeer...

Singer: You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch / You have termites in your smile / You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile / Given the choice between the two of you, I'd take the... seasick crocodile.

While looting the Who houses, leaving crumbs to small for the other Who's mouses, Grinchy Claus runs into Cindy Lou Who, who is no more than two.

Cindy Lou Who: Santie Claus, why are you taking our Christmas tree, why?

Narrator: But do you know, the Grinch was so smart and so slick, that he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick.

Grinch: Why my sweet little tot,

Narrator: - -the fake Santie Claus lied -...

Grinch: ...there's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my work shop, my dear. I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here.

Narrator: And his fib fooled the child. So he got her a drink and he patted her head and he sent her to bed. And when Cindy Lou Who was in bed with her cup he crupt to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar, and the last thing he took was the log for their fire.

After grabbing all the loot, the Grinch and Max take off for the top of the mountain to dump it.

Right before dumping the Who's treasures, the Grinch savors his victory with Max, pausing just long enough to enjoy the crys of the Whos...

Grinch: They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming. They're just waking up, I know just what they'll do. Their mouths will hang open a minute or two, then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry, "Boo Hoo.'

...instead the Whos come out, just like every other year, gather in a circle and begin to sing, "Welcome Christmas..."

Narrator: And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling:

Grinch: How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!

Narrator: He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!

At this point the spirit of Christmas hits the bi-polar Grinch and he realizes he needs to return the presents...but oh no, the sleigh has slipped and is heading over the cliff!!!

Narrator: And what happened then...? Who-ville they say that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day!

And then the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches plus two.

The Grinch and Max speed back into town and return all of the Whos gifts...The incredibly forgiving Whos invite the Grinch to Christmas dinner...

Narrator: He brought everything back, all the food for the feast. And he, he himself, the Grinch, carved the roast beast.

Narrator: Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp.


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