Barstool Sports

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Uncle Buck sees the NFL future

Here are UB's picks for the 2005-06 NFL season:


1. New England Patriots

Is there a better team in the NFL? They bounce back from injuries, they out plan everybody and they always make the big play...Oh yeah and they still have Tom Brady, Quite Frankly that's all you need...

2. New Jersey Jets

Chad Pennington will make a sold comeback, Ty Law will make some big plays, but this is the year the wheels come off Curtis Martin...

3. Buffalo Bills

J.P. Losman will turn out to be too green but Willis McGahee will not...

4. Miami Dolphins

Win or lose one of the 1st 3 questions of every post game presser will be about Ricky Williams...Nick Saban is biding his time until he can trade Williams at the end of the year...

AFC North:

1. Cincinnati Bengals

Early road games are at Cleveland, Chicago, Jacksonville and Tennessee...They will go 3-1 there and 5-3 at home on the season and take the division.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers

11:05 a friend in Pittsburgh tells UB: "We're so screwed. They stink. 'Big' Ben has spent the whole off season reading his own press clippings...we're screwed!"

3. Baltimore Ravens

Kyle Boller is a stiff and Jamal Lewis is getting tired...

4. Cleveland Browns

Romeo Crennel will help in the long run, but he knows its a marathon not a sprint...

AFC South:

1. Indianapolis Colts

As long as Peyton Manning is healthy they will sit a-top the AFC South...

2. Jacksonville Jaguars

Last season this was everyone's surprise pick to contend for the one has them this year...

3. Houston Texans

They will have 10 times the normal amount of media in Houston this season, too bad they are covering Hurricane Katrina evacuees...

4. Tennessee Titans

Jeff Fisher is still one of the best coaches in the NFL so this pick could be way off...

AFC West:

1. Kansas City Chiefs

Although the Chiefs don't have the homefield advantage they used to at Arrowhead, Priest Holmes and Trent Green still lead a very good offense...lucky for them, lack of D won't matter til the playoffs...

2. San Diego Chargers

Last year was a fluke, sort of...the Drew Brees vs. Philip Rivers talk will begin after the Chargers start 2-3...

3. Denver Broncos

Although they could apparently put the waterboy in and he could rush for 1,200 yards, the team still lives and dies with Jake Plummer...

4. Oakland Raiders

The Raiders fans are more fearsome than the Raiders D...Norv Turner will help the Offense get better, but they won't take a big step until Kerry Collins is gone or the backup...

NFC East:

1. Dallas Cowboys

Yes I know he is still Drew Bledsoe, and yes I know everyone is saying 'if anyone can coach Bledsoe it is Parcells' but if you think about it, Buffalo went 9-7 with Drew last year. Doesn't Parcells coaching Drew count for at least 2 wins?

2. New Jersey Giants

Eli Manning will take some big steps in the second half of the season, leading the Giants on a 5 game winning streak to close out the season...

3. Philadelphia Eagles

This will be classic Super Bowl hang over stuff...I'm guessing 7-9 at best...

4. Washington Redskins

Joe Gibbs' head is still in NASCAR sorry...

AFC North:

1. Minnesota Vikings

Subtracting Randy Moss will be a bigger addition than anyone thinks, and Daunte Culpepper will get the MVP on route to the Super Bowl...Mike Tice spent his ticket scalping money on a copy of "Coaching Football For Dummies"...

2. Green Bay Packers

Brett's consecutive games started streak will come to an end, but he will still return for his 33rd season in 2006...

3. Detroit Lions

Jeff Garcia breaking his leg and going out for the season is going to hurt more than anyone can thinks...

4. Chicago Bears

"We're so bad we know we're good. Blowin' your mind like we knew we would. You know we're just struttin' for fun Struttin' our stuff for everyone. We're not here to start no trouble. We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle."

NFC South:

1. Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick ran for over 900 yards last year, that still amazes me...What amazes me even more is the Falcons still insist on making him a passer...

2. Carolina Panthers

Everyone is picking the Panthers in the Super Bowl, and for good reason. For that reason alone they won't win the division...

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

6 of the 8 away games for the Bucs are against Minnesota, Green Bay, NJ Jets, Atlanta, Carolina and New England...At home they play 6 of the 8 games against stiffs except Atlanta and Carolina.

4. New Orleans Saints

Their first win will be national news...but when will that be?

NFC West:

1. Seattle Seahawks

Everyone off the Seahawks bandwagon? Good, now they can compete without all the national media pressure...

2. St. Louis Rams

Offense: Mike Martz is still the head coach...Defense: Mike Martz is still the head coach...Overall chances: Mike Martz is still the head coach...

3. Arizona Cardinals

Looking at their schedule I still don't see who I can favor them against...

4. San Francisco 49ers

The training video is still selling better than tickets to their games...

AFC PLAYOFF TEAMS: Patriots, Bengals, Colts, Chiefs, WILD CARD: Steelers, Jaguars

NFC PLAYOFF TEAMS: Cowboys, Vikings, Falcons, Seahawks, WILD CARD: Panthers, Rams

AFC WILD CARD PLAYOFFS: Bengals over Steelers; Chiefs over Jaguars

NFC WILD CARD PLAYOFFS: Panthers over Seahawks; Cowboys over Rams

AFC DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS: Patriots over Bengals; Colts over Chiefs

NFC DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS: Vikings over Panthers; Falcons over Cowboys

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP: Patriots over Colts

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP: Vikings over Falcons

SUPER BOWL XL: Patriots over Vikings

So we'll make our usual bet of one dollar?


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Uncle Buck

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