Barstool Sports

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

While UB was hungover

So it took just about every bit of strength from your Uncle Buck to post his vacation update yesterday since he was suffering from jet lag and a case of nearly fatal "too hung over to move." Anywho lots of stuff went on while UB was on the shelf to time for him to catch up in a mish-mosh post, wouldn't ya say?

UB's beloved Red Sox are hot, winning 4 in a row, after dropping 4 in a row. Last night they got by Thighmaster's beloved Washington Nationals 6-3, thanks to a solid start from Kyle Snyder. Snyder (middle in red), a cast off from WWE's beloved Kansas City Royals (is that possible? The Royals let a guy go who had the ability to win a game?) and who is 6 foot 8 inches tall, went 5 innings giving up only 3 runs on 4 hits, and recorded 6 strike outs.

Prior to last night's win the Sox took 3 in Atlanta against the (finally) crappy Braves. UB enjoyed the final game of that series in the private room at ESPN Zone in Vegas.
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The biggest difference between the way the Sox are playing now and when they were losing 4 in a row is the clutch hitting. Players like Coco Crisp (above) are finally coming thru in the clutch, however, the pitching remains like the Vegas rollercoaster UB was on, up and down.

Kevin Youkilis, who had a big home run on Sunday night, is having a monster year at 1st base. So much so that it is really bothering UB that David Ortiz may be the American League starter at first base in the All-Star game. While UB does enjoy seeing his players in the All-Star game, Ortiz has been a DH every game this year except during interleague play. That is really ridiculous.

Many of UB's female readers are happy to see Gabe "the Babe" Kapler return and so is UB. Not for the horn-dog reasons like international reader Mojo, but for his 2 for 4 showing last night. And it was nice to see the Sox fans give him a standing ovation.

The only thing that caught UB's eye more than the Sox and the silicone enhanced woman of Las Vegas was the remarkable collapse of Phil Mickelson. In UB's opinion, the way Phil lost the Open with a double-bogey on 18 follows only the collapse of Jean Van de Velde at the 1999 British Open and Greg Norman's collapse at the 1996 Masters as the biggest choke job in modern golf history.

After only hitting 2 fairways all day, Mickelson still pulled out his driver with a one stroke lead. He put it in the gallery. His next shot hit a tree. To give you an idea of how shocking it was that he hit at tree, NBC didn't get the shot on camera. They figured there was no chance that a man on the verge of his 3rd strait major (2005 PGA Championship and 2006 Masters) would go for the green and hit a tree. About 10 feet later Phil went for the green again and instead laid a fried egg on the beach.

The sand shot of course ran right off the green as he would have had a better chance of landing it on an umbrella the way the greens were playing all week at Winged Foot. From there Phil had to chip in to force a playoff...he missed by about two feet.

Your US Open champion: Geoff Ogilvy. Ogilvy chipped in on 17 and made a big put on 18 to give him just enough for the win. The funniest part of the day came when NBC cameras showed Mrs. Ogilvy making faces while Phil was blowing the Open on the 18th. Her looks to someone off camera made it look like she wanted to say, "Are you kidding me? This guy stinks."

Bill Parcells made a good run at it too, but like Phil a double bogie late cost "Monty".

"No Phil this one is mine, I think the 2nd place trophy is over there. See the little plastic golfer on top? Oh darn, it looks like the tiny club broke off..."

And of course last night another former Boston Bruin did what all former Boston Bruins do, he won a Stanley Cup with another team. Glen Wesley and the Carolina Hurricanes defeated the Edmonton Oilers in Game 7 of the least watched Stanley Cup Finals in years. UB is happy for Glen Wesley, who was with the Bruins during Cup Finals in 1988 and 1990 and played for the Hartford Whalers for several seasons before the move to Carolina. Amazingly this is the 1st pro sports title in the big four sports (although NASCAR has really passed the NHL as a top 4 sport now) for North Carolina. The Carolinas have always been a hot bed for College sports, NASCAR and pro wrestling, but never have they had a pro franchise win a championship. Their closest previous bid was the Carolina Panthers who lost Super Bowl XXXVIII to the New England Patriots (too bad).

UB after returning home from Vegas...Of course it was much worse for:

Griff...

...Boner...

...and of course Panda (who apparently got on the wrong plane and ended up in a Chinese prison).

"And f#*@ing stay out."

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