Great Peter Sellers Quotes: The Pink Panther Series

With the release of the new Pink Panther movie starring Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau coming out Friday, your Uncle Buck wanted to take this opportunity to review the Pink Panther series and the best lines from the original Clouseau: Peter Sellers. UB is ranking the films from best to worst and here they are:

1. The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976): The 5th in the series features Sellers promoted as Chief Inspector trying to foil his old boss Former Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus, played by Herbert Lom, who has gone mad and threatens to destroy the world.

Clouseau: [after knocking Cato unconscious, goes to answer the phone] Relax. I'll get it.

[After Clouseau accidentally reduces a piano to a pile of splinters]

Mrs. Leverlilly: You've ruined that piano!

Clouseau: What is the price of one piano compared to the terrible crime that's been committed here.

Mrs. Leverlilly: But that's a priceless Steinway!

Clouseau: Not anymore!

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?

Hotel Clerk: No.

Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie. [Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand]

Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!

Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

2. A Shot in the Dark (1964): In the 2nd film Clouseau is brought in to solve a murder.

Clouseau: You are forgetting the most important fact: motive.

Dreyfus: What about the maid?

Clouseau: The maid?

Dreyfus: Was he jealous of her too? He strangled her.

Clouseau: It is possible that his intended victim was a man and that he made a mistake.

Dreyfus: Mistake?... in a nudist camp?

Clouseau: There is something... personal... in this?

Dreyfus: Yes, deeply personal. I hate you! Every little bit of you! Now get out!

Clouseau: You want me to leave?

3. Return of the Pink Panther (1975): The 4th film in the series is the only one in which the DVD rights are not owned by MGM. Universal recently released the film under Focus Features. Sellers returned to the series after passing on 1968's "Inspector Clouseau", which stared Alan Arkin instead. Sellers reportedly returned to the series for financial reasons.

Dreyfus: The beggar was the lookout man for the gang.

Clouseau: That is impossible. How can a blind man be a lookout?

Dreyfus: [Insinuating Clouseau] How can an idiot be a police officer?

Clouseau: Well, all he has to do is enlist...

Dreyfus: Shut up!

Dreyfus: [after Clouseau's fiasco with the bank robbers and the blind lookout] ... You are suspended for six months, without pay, effective immediately! Have you anything to say?

Clouseau: ...Could you lend me fifty francs?

4. Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978): In the 6th and last film Sellers was alive for, Clouseau gets some disguise help to foil a mob plot.

Clouseau: I am not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill transvestite!

Clouseau: Now, this time I'm going to stand on your shoulders!

Cato: What good will that do?

Clouseau: Because I'm taller than you are, you fool!

Simone Legree: Oh my God.

Clouseau: Mine too.

5. The Pink Panther (1964): The first film of the series featured Sellers as Clouseau in a supporting role. His acting stole the show but the lack of scenes ranks it #5 on UB's list.

Clouseau: At times like this, I wish I was but a simple peasant.

Simone Clouseau: It's times like this that make me realize how lucky I really am.

Police Escort: Tell me, inspector - Signor Phantom - all those robberies. How did you ever manage it?

Clouseau: Well, you know... it wasn't easy.

6. Trail of the Pink Panther (1982): In a shameful move, after Sellers died director Blake Edwards, who was the man behind the camera for all but 1 of the 9 films, used outtakes and deleted scenes from previous films to make another film. The 1st half is a fun series Sellers clips pasted together, the 2nd half centers around a female reporter trying to track down the Inspector.

[to Dreyfus who comes in after Clouseau sets his office on fire]

Clouseau: Ah, hello! Nice weather we are having...

Clouseau: I am Andre Botot, mustard salesman from Dijon.

Deputy Commissionerr Lasorde: Read this most carefully and give me your opinion.

Clouseau: I will read my opinion and give you yours most carefully.

7. Curse of the Pink Panther (1983): Blake Edwards brings back many characters from the previous films for a New York City detective to question as he searches for the missing Inspector Clouseau.

8. Inspector Clouseau (1968): Alan Arkin takes over as Clouseau to solve a robbery.

9. Son of the Pink Panther (1993): Chief Inspection Drefus learns that Clouseau had a son he never knew about with his romance from "A Shot in the Dark". Years before his Oscar win, Italian actor Roberto Benigni plays Clouseau's off spring.

Will Steve Martin's effort live up to the original films or will it be ranked with the bottom of the series?