Barstool Sports

Monday, January 30, 2006

It's an opera

What is the world coming to? Your Uncle Buck was listening to WEEI today and they were talking about the Ron Borges article on the guy holding the Patriots hostage over the Doug Flutie dropkick football.

While the Pats were looking for the ball for the Hall of Fame the PR department got a call from the lawyer of the fan who caught the kick. Here is what the guy wanted from the Pats for the ball:

$100,000.

4 Season Tickets in the endzone for the next 25 years. (Although he was gonna pay for the tickets).

A Tom Brady jersey signed by the entire team.

As you can expect the Pats had a little laugh and said "No thanks."

On the plus side UB finally tracked down Tiny Tick who was MIA while recovering from a wild week on a work trip.

A drunken TT amazes the crowd with his version of "The Humpty Dance".

(If you haven't bought stock in the company, now's the time...)

Tiny puts the figure-four leg-lock on a helpless co-worker trying to emulate the great Ric Flair.

While the "Nature Boy" was the master of the figure-four, even he would agree the hold hurts worse when your opponent reverses it...

Anyway what the hell was UB talking about...Oh yeah golf:

Tiger Woods returned to form with his Sudden Death victory over Jose Maria Olazabal. The funniest part was when co-leader Sergio Garcia, playing in the final group with Woods for the first time since the 2002 U.S. Open at Bethpage, hit into five bunkers and a beer tent on his first eight holes and went out in 40. When he hit into the beer tent all UB could think about was:

"I'll pay for your lunch and I'll pay for the umbrella."

Meanwhile the Celtics have entered Wally World with the addition of Wally Szczerbiak. They go the win in the 1st game over the Kings, 15 minutes after Wally showed up, but then lost Sunday night in a game that the NBA didn't broadcast on TV...Can you believe that? And then they lost tonight too...Marcus Banks 20 points, are you F-ing kidding UB?

"Hello ladies...you can call me Wally!"

"This just in, the Red Sox finally signed Coco Crisp. Up next how John Kerry caused the record breaking hurricane season, but first: more of her legs..."

Finally, UB was picking up something at a neighbor's house when he noticed tickets to "La Boheme" on the fridge..."What the hell is 'La Bo-HE-me'?"

"It's an opera!"

2 Comments:

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