The Best of The Treehouse of Horror
UB is a big Simpsons fan so he's decided to take a look at the 15 Treehouse of Horror Halloween episodes, as we gear up for the 16th edition. Now you may notice that all of the selections are from Seasons 2-9, but lets face it, Season 9 was the last time The Simpsons was any good anyway...Here are the top 13 tales of terror: (Thanks to this Simpsons site for all the quotes and episode descriptions)
13. The Raven (Treehouse of Horror I)
James Earl Jones narrates Edgar Allen Poe's classic tale starring the Simpsons. This version stays very close to the original poem.
Bart: Lisa, that wasn't scary. Not even for a poem. Lisa: Well it was written in 1845. Maybe people were easier to scare back then. Bart: Oh, yeah. Like when you look at Friday the Thirteenth, Part 1. Pretty tame by today's standards.
12. Attack of the 50 ft Eyesores (Treehouse of Horror VI)
Giant billboard characters come to life during a freakish weather storm. A Paul Anka jingle saves the day.
Chief Wiggum after shooting a monster: Aw, they're not so tough. Lou: Um...Chief, that wasn't a monster. That was the captain of the high school basketball team. Wiggum: Uh, yeah, well, he was turning into a monster.
11. Terror at 5 1/2 Feet (Treehouse of Horror IV)
Bart has a nightmare about a bus crash. And his nightmare is about to come true when a playful gremlin starts taking the bus apart piece by piece. Based on a classic Twilight Zone episode where William Shatner sees a monster on the wing of the plane he is on. Plot used again in the Twilight Zone movie.
Bart: Milhouse...Milhouse, wake up, quick! Look out the window. Milhouse: No way, Bart. If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded rear-admiral!
10. Clown Without Pity (Treehouse of Horror III)
Bart receives, as a birthday present, a talking Krusty doll....from the House of Evil 'Your One Stop Evil Shop'. Owner: We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call ``Frogurt''!
Homer: Ooooh, that's bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: That's good.
Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate.
Owner: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?
9. The Monkey's Paw (Treehouse of Horror II)
The Simpsons, on a foreign trip, pick up a monkey's paw that gives the holder four wishes each with bad side effects.
Lisa: [takes the paw] I wish for world peace. Homer: Lisa, that was very selfish of you!
8. The Homega Man (Treehouse of Horror VIII)
Homer battles killer mutants after Springfield is destroyed in a nuclear blast.
Flanders: We can all work together to build a Utopian society, free of violence, hate, and prejudice! Marge: That sounds beautiful, Ned. And let me just say my family and I share your vision for a better-- NOW! (Marge and the kids draw shotguns, and blast the freaks a couple of feet back, leaving them in a pile.) Hm, friends with mutants. Rrright! Homer: Now that's the Marge I married. So! Who wants to steal some Farraris?
7. Nightmare On Evergreen Terrace (Treehouse of Horror VI)
Marge: [voice over] It all started on the thirteenth hour, of the thirteenth day, of the thirteenth month. We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased. Homer: [shivering, looking at the calendar] Oh, lousy Smarch weather.
6. King Homer (Treehouse of Horror III)
Chief: Mosi Tatupu! Mosi Tatupu! (translation: The Blue-haired woman will make a good sacrifice.)
Marge: What's he saying?
Burns: He's saying ``We wouldn't *dream* of sacrificing the blue-haired woman.''
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape.
Karl: I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Karl: Apes. But they're not so big.
5. Nightmare Cafeteria (Treehouse of Horror V)
Overcrowding at the school's detention room and budget cuts in the cafeteria leads Principal Skinner to come up with a unique single solution: eat the kids!
Lisa: Bart, does it strike you as odd that Uter disappeared and suddenly they're serving us this mysterious food called "Uterbraten"?
Skinner: Oh, relax, kids, I've got a gut feeling Uter is around here somewhere. [chuckles] After all, isn't there a little Uter in all of us? [chuckles] In fact, you might even say we just ate Uter and he's in our stomachs right now! [laughs] Wait...scratch that one.
4. Dial 'Z' For Zombies (Treehouse of Horror III)
After being assigned to read a another book, Bart picks out an item from the occult section, and tries to raise the dead Snowball I, but instead cause the dead people to rise up.
Zombie Flanders: Hey Simpson! I'm feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I chew your EAR?
Homer shoots him.
Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a Zombie!?
3. The Shinning (Treehouse of Horror V)
No TV and no beer makes Homer go insane at an isolated mountain lodge and only Bart's shinning (Bart: You mean Shining. Willy: Quiet boy! You want to get us sued!) can save the family.
Burns: Yes, by cutting off cable TV and the beer supply, I can ensure an honest winter's work out of those low-lives. Smithers: Sir, did you ever stop to think that maybe it was doing this that caused the previous caretakers to go insane and murder their families? Burns: ...perhaps. Tell you what: we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
2. Time and Punishment (Treehouse of Horror V)
Ned Flanders becomes the ruler of a George Orwellian world after Homer adversely uses a toaster to change the past
Homer: Aah! OK, don't panic -- remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day. [remembers Abe with hair and a tuxedo] Abe: If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine. Homer: Fine. As long as I stand perfectly still and don't touch anything, I won't destroy the future. [a mosquito flies in] Stupid bug! You go squish now! [swats it]
1. The Devil and Homer Simpson (Treehouse of Horror IV)
Homer sells his soul for a donut, but once he's done the Devil, Ned Flanders, comes for Homer!
Marge: [looking at phone book] Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers...oh! Lionel Hutz. "Cases won in 30 minutes or your pizza's free." Hmm. Bart: I'd sell my soul for a formula one racing car. [Satan Ned appears with a race car] Ned: Heh heh heh, that can be arranged. Bart: Changed my mind. Sorry. [Ned vanishes] Cool! Marge: Bart! Stop pestering Satan.
Lionel Hutz: [walking around a corner] Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
Marge: But we did win!
Lionel Hutz: That's OK: the box is empty.