Barstool Sports

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Next on NESN: A kick in the nuts

You know some times NESN really sucks. Take today for example...UB turns NESN on and finds that they are airing a Red Sox-Yankoffs game from July 7th, 2003 as part of the series "Renewing the Rivalry." Quickly UB notices that with Pedro on the hill in Yankoff Stadium, this could be a loss...but no, NESN wouldn't waste the time of the Red Sox viewers with a loss to the Yankoffs, would they?

Martinez (7IP, 11K, 1ER) plunks Jeter and Soriano, knocking them both from the game early, but is removed after the Yankoffs tie the game at 1 in the 7th. Mike Mussina (8IP, 2 H, 1ER) shuts down the Sox retiring something like 35 in a row, leading to Mariano Rivera who sits down the Sox, except for a single by...wait for it...Nomar the 9th. The Sox with Grady Little running the show bring in Byung-Hyun Kim who proceeds to load the bases with no one out...Grady sleeps through it all and misses the game winning hit by Curtis Pride to Todd Walker who fumbles with it before throwing home. Of course by the time the throw comes home the Yankees are already in the showers.

So UB has wasted his time watching 2 hours of Red Sox baseball that already happened, over 2 years ago, and they lose. The YES network in New York, shows movies, Sportscentury like shows on former greats, historic playoff games...and what do we get? A choke job with Pedro on the mound at Yankoff Stadium...In an attempt to keep bringing in viewers, here is the new 2006 line up for New England Sports Network:

6am-10am: NESN Sports Desk With New Anchor Dr. Charles Steinberg:

You are hearing me talk.

10am-Noon: Working out with the Caveman "Johnny Damon" (RERUN):

Noon-2pm: The NESN Afternoon Movie: Fever Pitch (2004):

2-4pm: Behind the Laughs: The Making of Fever Pitch:

4-6pm: Great Red Sox Collapses Episode 23: The 1986 World Series Game 6:

6-8pm: Great Red Sox Games where they Almost Beat the Yankoffs: Episode 55: The 1978 Playoff:

8-10pm: Great Red Sox Decisions: Featuring Grady Little:

10-11pm: The Making of the Tessie Video:

11pm-1am: Fever Pitch: The Director's Cut:

1-6am: Great Moments in Bruins History: The Jeremy Jacobs Years:

6am-10am: NESN Sports Desk With New Anchor Dr. Charles Steinberg:

You are hearing me talk.


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