Barstool Sports

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Troy Brown: Tailgate monitor ***UPDATED***

Your Uncle Buck would like to apologize for not getting the Patriots post done sooner but he had to wait to get his hands on some photos that over shadow a 20-10 victory by the 4-1 Pats over the now 1-4 Dolphins in Foxboro.

Your Uncle Buck attended the game with Crazy Cousin, Panda and Griff and the boys made their 1st group outing quite an affair with TV, jumbaliah, the Pats new brand of hot dogs, spicy chicken legs and enough dip and beer to choke a donkey....And that was just the lunch menu...Inside, After taking a 6-0 lead in the 1st quarter, Tom Brady hooked up with the former 8th round pick in 1993 (Sorry Crazy Cousin it was '93, not 1990...) Troy Brown to put the Pats up 13-0 (after extra point was good). Little did we know that it wouldn't be the last we heard from Troy Brown.

After sweating through a 20-10 win over the always pesky Dolphins, UB and the boys went back out to the car in P-8 to enjoy the dinner menu...On tap was filet mignon wrapped in bacon and baked potatoes. The boys were polishing off the beef and putting back a few more Miller Lites and Buds as the parking lot cleared out to about 1/4 what it was at game time. Suddenly just as UB was about to break into his baked potato...Up pulls a $90,000 Mercedes that parks right next to us driven by...Troy Brown.

TB: Hey guy's how's it going?

UB and the boys: .......... <Someone: is that Troy Brown?>

TB: Man I'm thirsty I could use a beer.

UB: Um...(fumbling to get his Troy Brown #80 jersey back on) Here you go Troy Brown (UB hands Troy a Miller Lite)

TB: Aw, man I can't drink that stuff...

Some duchebag who came over from a nearby tailgate: Here (handing Troy some Mexican bottled beer)

Troy walks over to our tailgate...

TB: Hey nice set up. I've never been out here before. You guys got everything. Sausage, baked potatoes...

UB: Hey Troy you want some?

A few awkward seconds later...UB: Um, so Troy...They got you doing parking lot duty now?

Troy then explained he was meeting some friends in another tailgate (this whole time the car is running and he's drinking the import)...Troy makes his way to a car opposite us that contains two drop dead hotties and 6 guys, 3 Dolphins fans and 3 Pats fans. The boys quickly deduce that Troy and this woman planned to meet up and as quickly as UB gets back to his potato and gulps it down, Troy has the crew hit the road and tells the girl to follow him.

With one last attempt to at Troy to the legion of Chowdaheads, UB and the boys get the former Pro Bowler to grab a photo with them then Troy jumps back in his car, comments that he has to "kill" the beer and takes off with UB directing traffic like an idiot and the hottie following in some red car...

As for the game, it's important to remember that the Pats are 4-1 going into the BYE week and while they have really only had one game game where they played close to championship form, at the BYE week last year they were 3-3...The field is a mess and it's not gonna get any better...The defense is starting to look like the "bend but don't break" D of 2001, and hasn't allowed more than 17 points in any game this year...So the biggest question for UB and the boys is, who's gonna come out to our P-8 tailgate next time?


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