Barstool Sports

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

It pays to be a douche bag

Barry Bonds now has 715 home runs and a douche bag who was at the game has a ball worth thousands of dollars that he doesn't deserve. Sure he caught the ball, and should be able to sell it for whatever he wants or keep it under his pillow, that would be fine. However, your Uncle Buck got a little annoyed when he learned about the clown, Andrew Morbitzer, who caught this thing. Here is UB's evidence that proves he should have the ball taken away and be banned from any ballpark in America:

1. He caught the ball while in the beer line: What is this idiot doing getting a beer while sitting in the bleachers since A.) Bonds could hit a home run there and B.) any real fan was parked in their seat watching the potential history making moment.

2. He only recently relocated from Colorado: So he just decided to take in a game and take a ticket away from a potential real Giants fan, eh.

3. He told reporters he's a professed Giants and Bonds fan: Then what the hell is he doing out of his seat when Bonds is at the plate?

4. "Morbitzer said he went to get a few more beers because he couldn't see who would be up next in the bleachers": Couldn't see who would be up next!?!?!? Was he watching the game? How about asking anyone around you or buying a program or looking up on the scoreboard, or god forbid realizing that your "favorite" player hasn't batted in a while...

5. "His wife said she wondered what was taking him so long (in the beer line)": Taking him so long in the beer line? So he heard the crowd roar, the announcer say Bonds was coming up and stayed in the beer line!? His wife, who attended the game with him, told the media her husband was in line so long because he was waiting for his peanuts...(UB begins beating his head against the wall at this point.)

6. He was wearing a "715" shirt when he caught the ball: UB is not surprised by this one at all. Only dorks by those things, from the rip off park vendors, then go and get a beer when Bonds comes to the plate...


At 8:53 AM, Blogger Spicy Little Pi said...

that guy is a shining example of douche-baggery



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