Barstool Sports

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Home is the sailor

Your Uncle Buck is back. Having said that UB is tired from driving 9 hours and a little overwhelmed with the amount of crap that went on while he was away...While hitting the golf courses of western Virginia for 54 excruciating holes and a little fishing and boozing, the world kept a turning with a Red Sox-Yankoffs game, a new Kentucky Derby winner and the NFL Draft (Check out the Pats picks here). So here is what UB missed:

First off last week's Red Sox-Yankoff game not only marked the first meeting between the hated rivals in the 2006 season but the return of Johnny Damon, who had guaranteed a win while on Martha Stewart's show a week earlier...(Never you mind why UB was watching Martha Stewart)...Thanks to ESPN UB was able to enjoy the game on a sleeper couch in Massanutten, Virginia.

Johnny tried to make an "NFL Films" moment of his return to Fenway, but the fans were not as accommodating, booing the former face of the franchise. UB's parents happened to be at the game. UB's mother refused to boo, but didn't exactly clap either. UB's dad booed his head off...

Anyone who was confused about how Red Sox fans could boo Johnny Damon only had to look at Kevin Millar's return to Fenway over the weekend. Millar, who was not nearly as popular as Damon, with his limited ability and big mouth, was cheered like crazy by the fans who A) Will never forget his contributions in 2004 and B) Noticed he didn't go to the Yankoffs. If you think the Yankoff fans would have been more classy had the roles been reversed, ask them about David Wells return to Yankoff Stadium in 2005. Wells was wildly booed by the crowd, even though the same fans gave him a standing "O" when he came back with San Diego the season before. It is stuff like this that makes Red Sox-Yankoffs different.

Johnny ended up doing the same thing he has done for the past several seasons: Help the Red Sox win...This time, however, it was an 0-for-4 effort as the Yankoffs lead-off hitter that helped most...

More bizarre, if possible, was the cross-country return of Tim Wakefield's personal catcher Doug Mirabelli, who was acquired for Wake's former catcher Josh Bard, a minor leaguer and cash earlier in the day. 'Belli was flown cross country on John Henry's private jet and landed at Logan Airport 20 minutes before the game. He was rushed to the field, via police escort (dressing in the back), making it to the field minutes before the start of the game...From there the inspired Sox did their best to battle Chien-Ming Wang, before Big Papi David Ortiz got to Aaron Small for a 3 run shot in the 8th for the 7-3 win.

"This is my friend 'Mr. Wang'...No offense!"

"Just ask Wang, he'll tell ya! We just bought land by the Green Monster, on the 'GOOD' side!"

"Where's Coco!? I left simple f*cking instructions!!!"

Meanwhile the Kentucky Derby crowned its 132th Winner in Barbaro. Will this be the first horse in some time to take the triple crown...doubtful, but the race did make UB think about all the great horse racing films that have run the track:

Show: Seabiscuit

UB didn't actually like this movie that much, but even though the story was a bit much (even for a true story) and the film was too long, it does offer the best point of view action in just about any sports film...

Place: Let it Ride

Richard Dreyfuss plays Trotter, a gambling loser who rides a series of luck and illegal tips to one big pay day after another...UB knows this best from a run on HBO of about 4 months in the mid 90s...Jennifer Tilly in her prime doesn't hurt either..."I got the horse right here, his name's Paul Revere and there's a guy that says if the weather's clear, can do, can do, he says the horse can do..."

Win: Hot to Trot

Bob Goldthwait, Dabney Coleman and a pre-Oscar nom-Virginia Madsen round out the cast in this "comedy" that is the closest thing to a movie version of Mr. Ed. Burgess Meredith as the voice of Don the horse's father and the Immortal John Candy as Don the how can you beat that...If you don't believe UB that this is a classic film then check out this impressive list of quotes from the film...

And speaking of comedy it was fun to watch the Philadelphia faithful have some fun with Barry Bonds...Hopefully they will get Barry's reaction to the signs on that ESPN reality show...

"Dude, I've been gone all week...what do you mean you haven't moved?"

So now that UB is back at the helm of Chowdaheads it is gonna be an interesting ride (providing that Blogger cooperates)...So stay tuned to see what UB scribbles in his next 500+ posts...


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