Barstool Sports

Monday, March 13, 2006

Screwball: Japan takes it in the Tsuyoshi

日本はアメリカ人に対して2 つの世界の野球の古典的なゲームのあたりの昨日の間にねじで締められて得た。Translation: Japan got screwed during yesterday's round 2 World Baseball Classic game against the Americans. Your Uncle Buck, who is apparently the only one getting into this tournament, was watching the game and got real fired up after Derrick Lee's 2 run home run to tie the game at 3.

Lee's homer (left) and a solo shot by Chipper Jones were the only scoring the USA were able to muster against the Japanese pitchers. UB was amazed at the play of Japan's infield who were all over every ground ball. ESPN analysts pointed out that in Japan almost all of the fields are either turf or skinned (all dirt) making those grounders much faster, therefore making the Japanese infield faster.

The real fireworks began in the top half of the 8th when, with the bases loaded and one out, Akinori Iwamura hit a fly ball to medium-deep left field. Tsuyoshi Nishioka tagged up at third base and easily beat the throw from Team USA left fielder Randy Winn. The USA appealed to 3rd, but the 3rd base umpire ruled Nishoka did not leave early. At that point an angered UB stormed out of the room to grab another beer and do a few household chores...When UB returned a few minutes later he saw the score, "3-3". Confused, UB checked his TiVo and discovered that USA Manager Buck (nice name) Martinez had challenged the call that the 3rd base ump did not have the right to make the call, that it was in fact the home plate umpire's judgment that mattered. Umpire Bob Davidson, who apparently still has a grudge over WWII, reversed the call.

Japan manager Sadaharu Oh (baseball's all time home run leader with 868) came flying out of the dugout, and with an interpreter, chewed out Davidson. The ruling stood, and the game went into the bottom of the 9th tied 3-3.

The USA loaded the bases with one out in the bottom of the 9th when Ken Griffey Jr. came up to bat. Griffey, who looked like he is on the Shawn Kemp diet, got fooled out of his cankles on a 3-2 pitch over his head for out number 2.

Enter Double-Play Rod:

You know UB has heard commentators say that so and so's hit or home run in the WBC was the biggest in their career...well in the case of Double Play-Rod, the single that scored the winning run (4-3) is the biggest of his career. Too bad for Yankoff fans it happened in the WBC. So since the hit doesn't make him a "real Yankoff" does it make him a "real American?"

In UB's opinion this is the biggest controversy between an American team and a Japanese team since 1986 when Assan Motors took on the Hadleyville, Pennsylvania locals.

During the softball game Buster, who had been burned all day at 3rd by Japanese bunts, charged over Mr. Saito, who was camped over a weak fly ball from Hunt Stevenson. The out would have sealed the win for Assan Motors, but Buster plowed over Saito and scored the winning run.

The win over Assan Motors was the only game played between the two proud teams...

Mr. Saito got his revenge on Buster the following week at work, demoting Buster to janitor.

Hunt Stevenson was later seen pulling Assan Motors manager and Executive Kazihiro out of the river. Stevenson believed Kazihiro was drowning himself, but it turned out he was just "freaking out."


At 9:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ive been watching this tourney hardcore on my package. i was watching that game too and it was bullshit. the worst thing for this tourney woudl be US getting all the breaks like that. by the way, papi's HR today was AMAZING

At 9:57 PM, Blogger Uncle Buck said...

UB is gonna have a delema if Papi faces the US...


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