Barstool Sports

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Barry bad news, MLB announces investigation

Well it's about freaking time. You know, your Uncle Buck heard the official Barry Bonds reporter, Pedro Gomez, on ESPN this morning saying that MLB was announcing an investigation into steroid use by Barry Bonds and other players because the league holds their records more sacred than any other sport. BULLSH*T. They are opening up this investigation because about a dozen books have been written since roid head Jose Canseco released his book "Juiced" and began naming names. Had it not been for these books the fans would have to endure a celebration of Hank Aaron's home run record (most likely this summer) that would have been painfully phony to anyone but the visually impaired. Bonds breaking more records this summer after all of this just couldn't happen without major controversy eating the sport alive, but don't be fooled that MLB wanted this. If it was up to them the media would keep their mouths shut and the records would continue to fall without any resistance from the league.

Chowdahead reader LT e-mailed me this quote from ESPN Radio today:

Colin Cowherd is on ESPN Radio talking about the night that Bonds finally breaks the HR record. He says that it's going to be like a wedding where EVERYONE in the audience knows that the bride slept with the best man the night before, but the wedding will still go on. It will be awkward for everyone, but the decision is made to go through with the ceremony anyway.

While UB is not a huge Cowherd fan he hit it right on the head with that one...

HEY BARRY DID YOU DO STEROIDS?

HOW ABOUT YOU GARRY?

"F-U."

Former U-S Senate majority leader, and partial owner of the Red Sox, George Mitchell will lead the investigation...UB wishes that meant he would go after the Yankoffs harder than Bonds, maybe reverse the 2003 ALCS when Giambi hit 2 HR in Game 7 while on roids...

Happier times?

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