Barstool Sports

Thursday, March 09, 2006

F*ckin' Eh!!? Did we just lose to Canada?

So America lost to Canada 8-6 yesterday to fall to 1-1 in the World Baseball Classic. Now it will apparently take a win over South America and some good luck to advance...What the hell? Your Uncle Buck complained yesterday about the US team not taking the WBC seriously and now they lose to minor leaguers from Canada.

You know UB really didn't want to do this today, he really wanted to focus on a Celtics team that has won 8 of 12, the NFL's new labor deal or that Red Sox players again dominated the WBC (Adam Stern inside the park HR, Jason Varitek Grand Slam), but no, UB has to unveil his top 10 best and worst things about Canada, not counting Hockey. Why no hockey, because that is Canada, that's like saying the best thing about Canada is Canada. That's dumb. Here are the real best and worsts about our frosty neighbor to the north:

The Best:

10. Canadian Bacon:

Not as good as American bacon, but it is still a breakfast meat...

9. You can't do that on Television:

Why You can't do that on television? "I don't know..."

8. Bret The Hitman Hart:

5 time WWF Heavyweight Champion; 2 time WCW Heavyweight Champion

7. The CN Tower:

6. Alex Trebek (w/moustache):

Sorry, "Who is Alex Trebek."

5. Brian Johnson's Girlfriend:

BRIAN: She lives in Canada, met her at Niagara Falls. You wouldn't know her.

4. Montreal:

Just ask these idiots...

3. The Beer:

2. The Comedy (John Candy, Dan Aykroyd circa 1975-1985; Mike Meyers, Jim Carrey, Kids in the Hall):

"I'm crushing your head!"

1. The Women:

From Pam... Kate, they really seem to know what they are doing up there.


10. Health Care:

For all not just the rich or well connected, how dumb.

9. The French Connection:

Stupid frogs...

...and enough with this stupid play! Will it ever end? Bring back Cats!

8. The Mounties:

Stupid looking cops, yet little crime...

7. Two Languages: Deux langues:

6. The Maple Leaf:

What a stupid looking flag...

"Oh it looks good on you though!"
5. Big Time Jobs:

You ever hear of anyone saying, "I'm going some place where I can make the big bucks, I'm going to Saskatchewan!"

4. The CFL:

Doug Flutie is the best player in the history of the league. Now UB likes Doug Flutie but that is ridiculous.

3. Winter:

You think it's cold here eh?

2. A Coin $1 Dollar Bill:

When you're tipping a stripper in Montreal, nothing looks dumber than laying a coin on the table...

1. They keep winning at baseball: this:

"F*ckin eh!!"


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