Barstool Sports

Friday, November 25, 2005

Great Mr. Miyagi Quotes

Due to the passing of Actor Pat Morita your Uncle Buck had to take a moment to honor him in his greatest roll, that of Mr. Kesuke Miyagi. Here are his best moments of wisdom from the two good Karate Kid movies: (Help from

The Karate Kid:

Miyagi: Your friend, all karate student, eh? Daniel: Friend? Oh, yeah, those guys. Miyagi: Problem: attitude. Daniel: No the problem is, I'm getting my ass kicked every other day, that's the problem. Miyagi: Hai, because boys have bad attitude. Karate for defense only. Daniel: That's not what these guys are taught. Miyagi: Hai - can see. No such thing a bad student, only bad teacher. Teacher say, student do. Daniel: Oh, great, that solves everything for me. I'll just go down to the school and straighten it out with the teacher, no problem. Miyagi: Now use head for something other than target. Daniel: Hey, I was just kidding about that. Miyagi: Why kidding? Daniel: Because I'd get killed if I go down there. Miyagi: Get killed anyway.

Miyagi: Excuse me, please. Boy cold. Must leave. Kindly remove bottles. Drunk: Kindry do it yourself, Mr. Moto. [Miyagi karate-chops the tops off three beer bottles] Daniel: How did you do that? How did you do that? Miyagi: Don't know. First time.

Miyagi: [sighs] Daniel-san, must talk. Man walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk down middle, sooner or later, get squished [makes squish gesture] just like grape. Same here. You karate do "yes," or karate do "no." You karate do "guess so," [makes squish gesture]

Daniel: Hey, what kind of belt do you have? Miyagi: Canvas. JC Penny. Three ninety-eight. You like?

Daniel: What's that guy kneeling like that for? Miyagi: Don't know. Daniel: Don't you know anything you can tell me? Miyagi: Hai. No get hit.

Kreese: [at the Cobra Kai dojo] Class, we have visitors. Fall in behind me. Hai! [approaches Daniel and Miyagi, then speaks to Miyagi] Kreese: I hear you jumped some of my students last night. Miyagi: Afraid facts mixed up. Kreese: You calling Mr. Lawrence a liar? Miyagi: No call no one nothing. Kreese: What are you here for, old man? Miyagi: Come ask leave boy alone. Kreese: What's the matter, the boy can't take care of his own problems? Miyagi: One to one problem, yes. FIVE to one problem, too much ask anyone. Kreese: Is that what's bothering you? The odds? Well, we can fix that. Feel like matching, Mr. Lawrence? Johnny Lawrence: Yes, sensei! Miyagi: No more fighting. Kreese: This is a karate dojo, not a knitting class. You don't come into my dojo, drop a challenge and leave, old man. Now you get your boy on the mat, or you and I will have a major problem. Miyagi: Too much advantage. Your dojo. Kreese: Name a place. Miyagi: Tournament. Kreese: [laughs] You've got real nerve, old man. Real nerve. But I think we can accomodate you. Can't we, Mr. Lawrence? Johnny Lawrence: Yes, sensei. Kreese: Fall in. [Johnny turns and leaves] Miyagi: Ask one more small request. Kreese: Make it fast. Miyagi: Ask leave boy alone to train. Kreese: You're a pushy little bastard, ain't ya? But I like that. I like that! All right. No one touches the prima donna until the tournament. Is that understood? [class responds with "YES SENSEI!!"] Kreese: But if you don't show, it's open season on him...and you. [they nod at each other]

Daniel: You're the best friend I've ever had. Miyagi: You pretty okay too.

(Then there is the drunk, dead wife, ramblings...but you really have to see that to appreciate it...)

The Karate Kid, Part II:

Daniel: You think you could break a log like that? Miyagi: Don't know. Never been attacked by a tree.

Miyagi: Daniel-san, never put passion before principle. Even if win, you lose.

Chozen: Your student disgrace me. I have been dishonored all because of him. Daniel: Hey, whatever happened, I apologized. Chozen: Apology will not give me back my honor. Daniel: Well, neither will this. Chozen: In their eyes it will. No more talk. You cross bridge or I kill her. [Daniel starts to cross the bridge] Miyagi: Daniel-San, this not tournament. This for real.

Miyagi: [repeating Kreese's words] Mercy is for the weak. We do not train to be merciful here. A man face you, he is enemy. Enemy deserve no mercy. [He lets out a karate yell and throws the chop, stopping his hand an inch away from Kreese's face. He honks Kreese's nose, then walks away. Kreese collapses]


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